Be Decicive… Read the Heath Bros Book!

he Heath brothers hit another homerun with their new book **Decisive**!  Everyone can use more help making decisions — especially when we have several choices that appear good.

You’ll have to read the book to understand the Heath’s WARP concept because it’s got a lot of depth.  Here is a short explanation of the WRAP concept:

    Widen the frame of your options.  Too often, we give ourselves too few options, or options that really aren’t options, and we force ourselves into an either/or mentality.  More quality (and new) options usually result in a better decision. You have to widening your focus.
    Reality test your assumptions.  In other words, many of us know what decision we want to make, and we find pieces of information that support it.  Or, we seek out “experts” who will give us the advice we want to hear.  Find some objectivity – get outside of your own head for some clarity.
    Attain distance before deciding.  Most all decisions (especially the important ones) are emotional.  Am I the only one to ever get manipulated by a car salesmen to buy a car for nothing more than an emotional impulse?  Avoid the car lot until you have solid criteria established for the car you NEED.  If you own a business, ask yourself, “What would our successors do?”  Think through the 10/10/10 principle: how will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes… 10 months… and 10 years from now?  Diffuse the emotion.
    Prepare to be wrong.  Most decisions should not be set in stone.  When they are, it leads to overconfidence and avoidance of change when we do make the wrong choice.  Failure is not fatal.  If we anticipate the problems, we will be better equipped to handle them.  If we’re right, we can also plan a time to celebrate!

Making good decisions in a big deal.  How are you preparing yourself to make them?  Do you have a strategy?  If not, it might be a good idea to track down the book Decisive (no one is paying me to endorse the book).  Share your decision making strategy.  

I received a complimentary copy from the publisher for my review. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion – which I’ve done. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

NewView Blog

Moving is hard. Change is hard. With that said, I am moving the main content of my blog over to a self-hosted site, and I am asking subscribers, readers and followers of this blog to make a change. Will you make the move with me to my new site at www.newviewcoach.com? Write a comment on my new site, share it with your friends, and give me feedback on how I can improve it.

Quiet: Book Review

For anyone out there who considers him or herself and introvert – please get a copy of this book, because it will validate many things you have thought about yourself for a long time.

Here is what so many introverts have been led to believe:

Introversion — along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness — is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology (Cain, Quiet, p.4)

In contrast, claims cain, extroverts are viewed as smarter, more interesting, better looking and people who would make better friends.

If nothing else, Cain presents a good case for why Introverts are needed… and cannot be ignored.  At least 1/3 of the population is an introvert (in America)… and maybe even more.  Instead of trying to get them to be more of an extrovert, Cain presents some good ideas for maximizing the strengths of an introvert: like focus, deep thinking, and listening.

Even if you consider yourself an extrovert, you might uncover some valuable insight about the people around you who are mysteriously quiet from Cain’s book.  It’s a great read and full of great research.  Let me know what you think about her conclusions after you have a chance to go through it.

One B1G Thing: Book Review

Phil Cooke is becoming one of my favorite authors… mostly because he writes about purpose and discovering who you were created to be.  This post is a brief review… sort of a collection of quotes from Cooke’s book, One Big Thing (which I reccommend you get if you want more clarity about where you want to go in life).

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:

• “This is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time.”
• “… finding your one big thing requires commitment…”
• “Your current circumstances aren’t nearly as big a factor as you think, it’s about where you are going.”
• “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs.  Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that.”
• “Out of clutter, find simplicity.  From discord, find harmony.  In the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity (A. Einstein).”

Those quotes only scratch the surface — if nothing else, Cooke’s book will inspire you to think on a higher level about your life.

I received a complimentary copy from the publisher for my review. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion – which I’ve done. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Heaven is Not What You Think It Is

Not many things in life get me sentimental. Maybe more things should move me to tears, but that’s not who I am. So, when something does stir up my emotions, it’s a pretty big deal. At the risk of losing my “street cred” (not that I have any… but I’ve always wanted to us that phrase) with this post, I have to share an experience my family had last week end.

We were invited to a performance by a group called “RATco,” or random acts of theater company. My wife made the arrangements with a friend to attend, so I was prepared to endure what I imagined would be a Disney musical (complete with platitudes, plastic smiles, and poorly recorded music). In case you were wondering, Disney movies don’t move me much (Pixar movies on the other hand…).

My preconceived ideas were shattered in opening moments of the show. Kids of all ages, sizes and abilities started to slowly walk onto the stage and share their life stories. Some of them were abandoned by their parents, others were bullied at school, some of them looked down on for a disability, and others discredited because of their race.

One by one, those same kids talked about the hope they had found. They didn’t make any excuses for their circumstances. The leaders of RATco instilled a “new” idea in them. It’s the idea that they are created in God’s image and He sees them as valuable — worthy of love. Instead of letting their past define them, those kids shared stories of hope and acceptance. They are writing a new story… and it was really moving to me.

No harp music or phoniness happened. Some of the kids read their own poetry — and it was hard hitting and current — others created their own lyrics to contemporary rap beats — and everyone on stage danced with a lot of energy. It wasn’t perfect choreography… It was real though… and it was inspiring. The message was clear to me: you don’t have to be perfect to be valuable and useful.

The closing number broke me down. A young girl shared with us that she endured 12 surgeries as a child and was only given a 20% chance to survive. And then, she took out her hearing aids and started to communicate in sign language about her appreciation of life (she’s bilingual… she signed and voiced at the same time).

Everyone was weeping… even me. It was the triumph and not the tragedy. I was so thankful for that moment.

The thought I came away with that night was this (and this will be a stretch to some people): this is exactly what heaven will be like. We will be free to celebrate our uniqueness, and other people will support us in our dreams to overcome the lies of our peers (who say we don’t measure up); the lies of our parents (who either leave us or hold us back); the lies of our bosses (who don’t support our work); the lies of our teachers (who said we couldn’t be more than our grades) or the lies of (you fill in the blank)…

I think heaven is more than harps, halos, and happy people who live in big houses… way more. You may not believe in heaven… that’s ok… people like me (who have been Christians forever) haven’t given you a good enough picture of it yet. The RATco performance gave me a renewed vision of heaven… heaven is a place of community, hope, love, and freedom.

I wish I could describe that evening better… maybe you should go check out a RATco performance for yourself (unless you are afraid to cry). And just so you know, they do more than put on performances. RATco works with people with disabilities, the elderly, and a wide variety of other people who are considered “unworthy” by our society.

What are you doing to bring hope to someone else? Are helping people live out their dreams? Who inspires you (send me an email jshanselman@gmail.com, or leave a comment on this post).

40… What’s the Big Deal?

A lot of experts in theology study (or maybe invent) some “interesting” subjects. One area that creates (and even fosters) “conspiracy theories” is numerology, or the study of numbers. It gets a lot of airtime in religious circles.

I really never gave numerology much thought… until I had a coffee meeting with a good friend last month. We hadn’t seen each other in about five years, so we had a lot of catching up to do. He interrupted me half way through my story and asked, “So… how old are you now?”

I said, “I’ll be forty next month.”

“Interesting,” he said, “I kinda thought that’s what you might say.”

Of course, I made him explain. While I won’t go into his detailed explanation, the synopsis of what he said was this, “Forty is a significant number. It’s all over the Bible. You probably have some major choices ahead of you this year… it’s a crossroad point in a lot of guys lives.”

Although I don’t “buy in” to the whole numerology debate (you can ask me about it in person if you want to know why), I was convinced that my friend might actually have a point after I did a little more digging.

Here is what the experts in theology claim:

“Surprisingly a time period of 40 (days, weeks, years) is actually significant. The information below is from Nave’s Topical Bible. Each time period of 40 units is related to testing, probation or being tried. Also notice each period ends with a time or item of blessing (http://agards-bible-timeline.com/q11_number_40.html).”

You might not agree with any or all of that explanation… but it did help me reflect a little bit more on my life.

I turn 40 today… and I wonder about the “testing” and “blessing” sides of my life. Not many things turned out the way I planned them to when I was 20. Some good… some bad… now, I really want the next 40 years of my life to help make a difference in the world for good. Something tells me that the most impact I am going to have in this world is through my children… and that excites me.

Who knows what this year has in store for me… I do know this: I’d rather avoid the testing and get straight to the blessing!

Any other 40-somethings out there who can add credibility to this debate? Let me know what 40 brought for you. Why is 40 such a big deal? Send me your thoughts to jshanselman@gmail.com

Creative Kids and Heroes

Two weeks ago, my son posted his schedule for the North Denver Olympic games.

After six events, and tough competition from the neighborhood boys, Gracie won “Grand Champion” status.  She took the gold in beach ball volleyball, BMX racing and wrestling (or wrasselin’ as we like to call it).

Some of neighbors ventured out to see what we were doing.  “Is it ok for my son to play?” asked one neighbor mom.  Another wanted to know if we were a part of some group… “Um… yes… we’re a family training for the Olympics…” and then we pointed at the house we live in by the park.  She wasn’t sure if we were serious (of course my head band and athletic attire should have given us away immediately).

It was fun to be a hero for about six kids for one day… all because my son wanted to host some Olympic events in the park.  If it were up to me, we probably would have stayed inside and watched the last day of the Olympics on TV.  As I officiated most of the events, I was happy to make a more lasting memory of our own… and it only took the imagination of a little boy, and the willingness of his sisters (one of whom is a teenager) to pitch in and participate.  Oh… and I can’t forget the person who sparked and encouraged the creativity of my kids… my wife, Mary.

We made several new friends and had a great time as a family in the process.

How are you meeting the people in your community? Are you willing to ask your kids for ideas about how to reach out?  Send me your ideas (at jshanselman@gamil.com, or post something to this post)… gotta run… time for the medal ceremony.